Reflections on a trip to the Golden State 

Despite what you might think of Donald Trump and the people who elected him, America is a great country. It just is and there is no way of getting away from the fact. Now, of course I was in California and the state is not America. And I was in a small enough part of a state that stretches from Mexico right up to the state of Oregon which is next to Washington State which is next to Canada. So you see California is big and long.

Thus, when I say America is great it is an observation based on my experiences in and around Los Angeles, which is a real city and not just a figment of Hollywood’s various creations. Even by California standards Los Angeles is long, stretching for fifty miles from end to end and is also about 50 miles wide. And the City is just part of Los Angeles County which, in size and population, is bigger than some American states. So that shows the limits of my experience when I pontificate and write that America is great. For the purpose of this column I’ll equate Los Angeles to America even tho’ that might upset Trumpites who think LA is an abomination and simply does not reflect real (right wing, nationalistic) American values.

The first thing that strikes the visitor when one exits LAX is the roads. They just seem to go on forever in every direction and every which way. They are testament to the civil engineering skills of the American people, because, despite the seemingly haphazard (to the newcomer) arrangements, the roads work. With the help of the ubiquitous satnav people get to where they are going generally without difficulty. That at least is what I observed.

I’ve mentioned the phenomenon of the nodding donkeys in a previous column. These contraptions strike the eye because of their incongruity. They are in built-up parts of the city and county of LA dipping up and down to pump the oil that has made America great (I’ll resist saying “again”). Local residents have no complaints about them (the donkeys were there before the residents!) and they are simply part of the landscape. What would be incompatible to most people in Ireland is perfectly normal in LA. And, it is not just the nodding donkeys. Offshore, but within plain sight, there are numerous derricks pumping the oil that drives the American economy. Some of these derricks, bigger ones, are formed into man-made islands with palm trees and all kinds of vegetation. I did not count, but there are lots of them. It would not happen in Erris!

Religion is big in America. There are churches, houses, temples, places of worship of every kind on every street corner. Or so it seemed to me. Episcopalians, Baptists, Gospellers, Methodists, Lutherans, Catholics, Greek Orthodox, Korean church, 7th Day Adventists, Mormons, televangelists and whatever you’re having yourself, are up front and not hiding their lights under a bushel. Self-anointed ministers with a penchant for blarney and an ability to quote the Bible can set up shop, do a few podcasts and, without any great difficulty, attract a following. Sometimes big followings.

Religion is taken seriously. American people are more committed to church that they would be here. There is something of a renaissance in church attendance. I attended Easter Sunday Mass in Long Beach where my son is pastor (no parish priests in America!). It went on for two-and-a-half hours. Easter Sunday Catholic ceremonies generally take time. Included in the ceremony in Long Beach was six baptisms and an equal number of confirmations. Everybody seemed to be happy and joyous, especially the families of the newly baptised and confirmed. Nobody reared up. Imagine Fr Tod in Burrishoole holding his congregation for two hours. He’d be shot.

At home, one would be forgiven for thinking that America is a lawless place. That perception has to do with the American Constitution’s guarantee of the right to bear arms. It’s a daft law, but it is the law and of course it enables the mass shootings that are a blight on America and especially it’s school system. There is security in all schools in America but that does not prevent mass killings. On the ground, the reality is that America is a well-regulated society. Even tho’ you see houses built on impossible hill sites they are subject to strict planning laws. There are regulations governing everything. Residential streets are just that. There are no corner shops. There are shopping malls where you can get your medicines, your pint of milk, your pound of chops or whatever. There’s Trader Joe’s and Costco. And there are outlets where you will find answers to your most outrageous desires.

If you are a car driver, and who in LA is not, you might find a fellow with a large garage who might do some minor repairs but generally speaking you have to travel to an area where car sales (a huge variety of models Toyota, Hyundai, Kia and surprisingly, for me, Subaru are popular), car repairs, tyre replacements, lubricant top-ups and car wash are all gathered on the one campus. Water is a costly commodity in LA and is rationed. Taking out your hose to wash the car is frowned upon and could cost a substantial fine.

If you want to eat, you will generally find a place in or adjacent to a shopping mall. Breakfast, brunch and lunch is readily available. You can partake of wine and beer (Mexican Modelo Negra!) or indeed, if you are feeling a bit exotic, there are cocktails and lemon cello to excite the taste buds or wash down the food. For breakfast, a trio of fried eggs, over medium, with hash browns and gallons of coffee is a favourite. If feeling peckish in the evenings there are multiple choices of restaurants with a wide variety of menus and prime fish dishes available. Didn’t try the sushi.

The choice is staggering. When asking for bread be prepared to answer a hundred questions as to soda, white, brown, sourdough, English Muffin, bagels, banana bread, frybread or corn bread, toast or God knows how many other choices you might be asked to consider. Then of course there’s the tips. Restaurant staff are not greatly prized and very often not paid by their employer. They rely on the generosity of the customer by way of a tip. The rule of thumb is to add 18 to 22 per cent to the bill. Servers, male and female, are on the ball, good-natured and helpful. They earn their tips. Customers, in my limited experience, are happy to pay the tips. But there is a need for caution. Occasionally a restaurant might include a 20% tip in the bill. It might be buried in the list of the dishes provided and an unsuspecting diner might be paying 20% of the included service charge as well as the food. It pays to be careful.

There is wealth in LA and Long Beach and Huntington Beach and Seal Beach. The yachts tied up at the marinas are many and impressive. I thought they might be used as homes by some people to justify the extravagance but not a bit of it. If they use their yacht as a full-time home, they have to pay taxes. It is OK for a short holiday break or two. And, of course, they have to pay fees for their marina berth. Those are not expenditures that worry people who may have invested a million or three in a boat that is used occasionally.

There is a major problem with America. They don’t have any pubs. Well, not pubs in the sense that we know them. Their eating houses sell beer but somehow it is not the same as having a quiet spot in a snug where one can quietly dwell on past glories or simply pass away the time while twirling the pint of Guinness and counting the rings left by an impeccably reducing draught. Ah! Bliss.

I was, coming towards the end of my time, introduced to 'The Auld Dubliner' in Downtown Long Beach, a salubrious part of the city, where I was able to get a pint of the black stuff. The bar man knew what he was doing and the pint was served up as it should be - black with a creamy white head. And the taste was fine. In fact the pint tasted so good that I followed it with another. And I did not mind parting with the tip.

Apropos nothing at all: I envy Padraig O’Hora on his Everest climb and wish him well.

Thought for the Day 

There’s no place like home - Myself