Let's not lose sight of Movember's mission

Now that the clocks have changed, the five o’clock shadow that is Movember is upon us.

Gentlemen, decommission your razers: it is time to cover your stiff upper lip. By the end of the month, you could have handlebars that your grandfather’s bicycle would be proud of. That is if you are up for the challenge, of course. But whether you are or not, it is worth paying heed to what all the fuss is about all the same.

Growing a moustache for Movember is – as we all know – simply a way to raise awareness and to get people talking about men’s health. We men are a desperate crowd for being unwilling to talk about anything we think might make us look and feel less manly. Many of us will now challenge that and argue that things have changed – but we might be better at saying that things are different than actually behaving all that differently to our fathers and grandfathers.

So Movember has been a great way to let some more light through that chink in our armour. It has been a popular and fun way to do it, and it works across the generations. Grandfathers can say: ‘what’s that thing about?’ and grandsons can tell them while subtly suggesting they get themselves checked. And vice versa. So, it’s a fun way to engage with people on an important topic. Like any good fad, it raises the awareness by attracting attention. And as fads go, it is certainly a lot better than throwing a bucket of cold water over your head. Remember that one?

Movember has been around a fair while now, going back to the start of the century. That itself – like the flecks of a certain colour when you grow a beard – is a reminder of one’s age. In an unusual pattern – despite its roots going back those many years – the phenomenon appears to continue to grow. It has survived all the waves of popular opinion. That’s impressive over such a length of time. So, why – like most styles – isn’t it in shreds on the barber’s floor?

It continues to work for a number of reasons, not least of which is that this informal age was made for it. Men will often feel overdressed now when they do something wild like wearing an ironed shirt. And when you wear a jacket and tie, it is like keeping the half door closed in the olden days: people wonder if you have been bereaved.

Nowadays it is easier to get a camel through the eye of a needle than get a razor along the jaw of most men – November or not. Even in work, fellas increasingly look like they have been pulled through a bush backways. The wispy horse hair or the tarmacadam like stubble: whichever it is, the razor no longer troubles it, and certainly not daily.

Movember provides a further excuse – if any is indeed still needed – to leave off the seven-minute job of shaving of a morning. That’s one extra press on the snooze button. Such things constitute important matters in the informal Ireland of 2023.

Back in an older Ireland, people cleaned themselves up in November by giving up the drink, which they justified on religious grounds: now they venerate scruffiness and justify it on the basis that they are doing it for a good cause.

But there was more to the popularity of Movember than justified idleness. In these days where so many constantly take pictures of themselves, the trend provided great content to feed that need. One image with the trademark moustache needs no caption, for its message is clear: ‘Look at me! Look at me with the moustache! I’m great craic, me.’ The question is, do you find the hirsute heavenly?

There are plenty who don’t, with the mothers of our region counted heavily in their number. Many is the mammy who shakes their head that little more perceptibly when their boys head out at night looking like they normally do when they come home. The timeless appeal of the clean shaven is their strong preference.

And what of the poor sellers of lotions and the providers of ablutions? The effect on them is the untold story, and the sales of beard oil can hardly make up the difference. In tune with the fashions of the time as they are, it is a wonder that these businesses do not form a lobby group and seek public subsidy to mitigate their losses. There could be a first-time shavers grant, or a subsidy for the costs of tackling facial dereliction. (And in the absence of such a salon-based grant, I think the only patriotic thing for the women of Ireland to do is to go out at once and support this hard-pressed industry. They – and you ladies – deserve it.) 

 It is also one thing not to shave because you can’t be bothered, and quite another to sport a beard or moustache. During the Covid, I was one of those who grew a beard: but it was a beard grown out of boredom. The desire to repeat it has well passed, and not only because of the association with that grim time. I’m sure there are many like me, who gave facial hair a trial during those long days and have decided that it’s not a fashion they have any interest in exploring further.

But, you know, whether elaborate facial hair stays in fashion, the message of Movember is worth remembering. Too many men don’t go often enough to the doctor. Too many put off having things seen when they should. Many look away when they should read and pay attention to health messages by people who actually know what they are talking about. Far too many men feel uncomfortable talking with each other about the simple things that happen to all of us when we get older.

So, whether you grow a moustache or not, make an appointment and go and see your doctor about that thing you have been putting off dealing with. Go in and tell them exactly how you feel, and be honest about how many cakes you eat or pints you drink. If you are feeling those niggles and wondering what might be behind them, ask a practitioner about it. But remember too that you don’t always need to go to a doctor or a physiotherapist, or certainly not as a first step.

Ask a man your own age whether the thing you have noticed happening to you happens to them too. And have a laugh about it if you can. And if you start those conversations by saying that you are not going to grow a moustache for Movember because it has had its day, you will be doing a great job proving that it hasn’t.