A season to be young at heart in that place you call home

Oh how exiles yearn for Christmas. Coming home for the season is the goal of many a year spent away. For when you live somewhere else, thoughts of home are at their strongest and most vivid in the run up to Christmas. That is a shared experience of every West of Ireland exile and emigrant. If you ever lived away, no matter how long ago, you remember it keenly, intensely.

Many of course went and never returned to live in the west. There are legions of us, composed of all and every generation, and located in many places. Whether in Britain, North America, Australia, the Middle East, nearer by on this island, or in any spot in this world, anyone away is thinking of home now more than ever.

Locked into our store of memory is the image of a return that will always touch the heartstrings, the moment where the shoulders relax and you think ‘I’m home’. The advertisements and the cards and many visual evocations of the season feature it. There are quite a few Christmas songs based on it.

Dipping into that store, we can all summon the happy scene at the railway station, or in Knock Airport, or when the car pulls into the drive. The outside light - a beacon in the dark - draws us into the warmth of the welcome and the glow from the fire as we step through the door. There is the laughing and the chattering and the enquiries about the state of the road and the journey. Whether you saw anyone else you knew on the way is one question. How many and who are home is another.

It won’t be long before the hospitality unfolds, with the table weighed down, the tea on – and a Christmas cake that you wouldn’t fit in the boot. That first evening of arrival is a gem and a joy. There are no worries. On that night, the only time you have to think about going back is when everyone – literally everyone – asks, ‘how long are you around for’?

The currency of that is ‘nights’ and you can count them out in your mind with contentment. In your answer you can either specify the number or you can simply say, in a typically guarded west of Ireland way, ‘ah I’m around for a while yet’. That latter way of answering is a signal to all that wherever you may live, you have not lost the habits of your homeplace. When you live away from home a long time, that is a reassurance you need for yourself more than others.

This has been the Christmas life of the West of Ireland for as long as any of us can remember. The journey back looks different in every era but the dynamic remains the same. In the 1960s, it was the boat back from England - often the cattle boat - and then the train home. In the 1980s, it was the flight, perhaps to Shannon, and with the later ‘80s bringing UK flights at least a little closer home.

Many of us have seen that life from all sides. From the young kid with an uncle visiting to the young adult learning more about your parents’ story, to experiencing it yourself, just as this latest generation are doing now. Many of those who have come to live with us over recent years experience this in reverse, as they head home at this time of year.

Nowadays those of the latest generation to leave the west for Melbourne or Vancouver or Dubai have a longer journey. Often the decision for those people is to make a surprise return. That surprise return is a gorgeous idea, but if the person being surprised is the one who does all the organising for Christmas, you might want to think through the impact of your turning up on the doorstep - and at the dinner table - out of the blue. And if you don’t get what I’m getting at, that proves you don’t do the organising for Christmas.

In whichever era, and in whatever way you return, some things change but always remain the same. The songs might be different but the theme is timeless: whether it be shamrock and heather, or craggy boglands and majestic hills, we can all see them still.

And what brings us back is deep, but also simple. It is the time we get not only to come home but also to become, as Raftery put it, young again.

That feeling of wanting to be young again can produce both wistfulness and exuberance. The wistfulness is no harm as it is, truth be told, part of the experience. But perhaps best not get enveloped in it - ‘when I were a lad’ stories have their place, but like many things, are best in moderation. So, this Christmas, if you are going to be young again, be youthful, not nostalgic.

Let your return put a spring into your step. Coming home at Christmas is a joyful, shared experience. And the shared experiences are not just in that special home where you got so warm a welcome, but found all over the community. There are a lot of ways to be part of those in the west of Ireland over Christmas.

Where do you begin? For starters, every GAA club will have some kind of activity on. That might be a match among the townlands or against the townies or between the younger and the more, ahem, mature generation - an excellent opportunity to renew the days of your youth.

Pulling on the jersey of your club is certainly one way to feel young again, but your hamstrings may not get the memo in the way your head does, so be careful out there. It is a long time since I wore boots so in my own case it would be more of a coaching role, with lashings of encouragement and praise. We should all play to our current strengths - but just for the record, I wasn’t a bad midfielder in my day.

Of course every local club - whatever it is dedicated to - will have some sort of fundraiser, whether it be a race night or a table quiz or a fashion show. This is a great way to meet up with friends old and new, while supporting something which keeps the heart of the community beating all year round.

There will also be informally and formally organised walks all over the region during the break. Getting out and about like this is a great way to connect both with place and people. Walking and hiking are never better than on a cold crisp day. Depending on your level of ambition, there are any number of places you can go to do that, and that can start literally at home. To join a loved one on their walk each morning is a great way to properly connect. Leave the phone back at the house for guaranteed results.

A longer walk is a good way to test out early those new year’s resolutions. Those who have been away a long time will be glad to learn how many places and parks have been developed around the region to cater for exactly this.

Mountain and hill walking this time of year is only really for those who know what they are doing, but an organised climb of the Reek is a splendid way to blow off the cobwebs. Our region from a height is glorious at any time, but especially on a clear day in winter. If you do take on something like that, be sure you know what you’re at, and bring the gear - and gloves! - you need for the time of year. And be sure to be safely down before the sun is anywhere near set.

As well as walking, in every community there will be performances of all kinds, whether they be plays, or music or singing. If your community has a local choir, there is no better time to hear them in full voice. If you can play something yourself, you might encourage some child you care for to come out on the Wren, using your own example to gently nudge them out of the nest. Don’t worry, once they get praise, money and sweets, you will see the old Irish expression of ‘praise the youth and they will come’ in action. We all remember what it was like to get a few bob on the Wren. Reconnecting with the ritual will definitely put that youthful spring in your step.

On perhaps the other side of the generations, you can also use up some of your renewed youthful energy in bringing someone you care for to Mass. Whether it is a long time since you went yourself or not, bringing someone to something sacred is like lighting a lamp. If it has been a while, just a word of warning: the response is ‘and with your spirit’ now, and not ‘and also with you’. We don’t need to get into the reason why, let’s just say it’s a theological and translational matter. And don’t just default to kneeling or standing, it has changed a bit, so watch the person beside you and follow their lead - especially if they are the person whom you brought. Seriously, there will be no need to be awkward, particularly if you are doing the good deed of accompanying a loved one.

Of course the other way to be young again is to get out and about and visit. There are neighbours and first cousins who would be delighted to see you. A cup of tea with the parents of an old school friend is a delight for all. The only limitations on you are how much time you have and how much Christmas cake you can eat. And like church ritual, for those away a long time, there have been some changes - unannounced visits are no longer the done thing.

Once arranged, by all means bring a gift, but try not to bring the gift with you to the west. You have the option now to buy local ahead of yourself. Ring or email them in advance of the holiday to get what you need. The local businesses will be delighted, and you will honour a custom going back to old days when the local businesses sustained themselves from the trade they got over the season.

For all those coming home this Christmas, we hope the days will be joyful. If they are tinged with sadness, whatever is causing it, we also all hope that the return will bring comfort.

For some, coming home this Christmas won’t be possible. That might be for any number of reasons. For our latest generation of emigrants, it may be for the understandable reason that coming home at Christmas doesn’t seem sensible when your plan is to be back in 18 months or so anyway. But for others, it might also be though that life or circumstances don’t allow it this year. For those who have made their whole adult life away from home, that is all the harder.

For everyone in need of comfort, and for those who can’t make it this year, be sure to light a candle for them this Christmas. Setting a flame to a candle wick is one of our oldest seasonal traditions. It is a signal and a symbol, an act to celebrate everything that is good, to renew ourselves, and to remind all we love and care for that there will always be a light on for them – wherever they may be.