A small bit of love makes it all worthwhile

In today’s modern world it’s easy sometimes to get caught up in the busyness of life and forget some of the wonderful qualities we were brought up with and can demonstrate to the next generation.

Having travelled a lot for sport over the last few months, meeting people from all over the world, sharing with strangers, competing against friends, spending time with people from a variety of different backgrounds, I’ve been reflecting on why these experiences were wonderful. Among the many reasons was that people shared common qualities, particularly kindness, sharing and caring.

When you are alone and a long way from home, a loneliness can creep in. When you are under pressure to achieve, to compete at another level for your team and country, to be successful with the task ahead, your mind can play tricks. Sport, however, brings people together and unites us in times of pressure. It’s the kindness of strangers, the friendships of teammates, the support from management, the cheers from the crowd that will lift you and get you through.

In competitive times, the personalities of people impact our performance, the outcome and the mind. We must train our minds and bodies to deal with the actions and words we encounter. On hearing cruel comments from competitors, you must be able to park and overcome or it will affect performance. An unexpected shoulder from behind can throw one off their game and sicken us; we either bounce back more determined or we lie down. A goal goes in and either the head goes down or we can lift it and win the next ball. It’s times like this we need to support one another, get behind each other, build on the positives, become stronger and return the generosity.

Recently, attending my daughter’s soccer training, I was blown away with the respect shown by each and every girl to each other, no matter what the age, what the background or what school they are attending. A circle forms at the end of every session where everyone says thank you, everyone puts their hands in, everyone is equal and everyone bids farewell. This respect is demonstrated in matches where no one gives out, no one criticises, and the sport is fun.

I’m now back to reality with a bang, a new season, a new school year, and a heightened level of busyness. Back to school brings lot of new beginnings for young people, lots of learning, lots of challenges, lots of exploration. Some sports are finishing up, some are beginning; the commitment to winter training, the darkness is appearing earlier, the mornings getting colder, the rain getting heavier. People of all ages must respect their coaches, teammates and themselves. Common qualities are required for everyone to pull together and achieve the challenge ahead, whether that be in school, sport, family or just surviving the heightened busyness of modern-day life.

I feel the simple act of kindness has an extraordinary ability to transcend boundaries, mend hearts and foster a sense of community among individuals. Defined as the quality of being friendly, generous, and considerate, kindness enriches the lives of both the giver and the receiver. In an increasingly fragmented world, the act of kindness stands out as a powerful antidote to isolation, animosity and despair.

To smile at someone, to ask how someone is, to say hello, to say thank you, to offer your time, advice, to listen… these are all very simple gestures. They don’t cost anything and anyone, anywhere, at any age can do something nice. It can be very simple but so important, a simple yet profound act. It is just as easy to say well done or hard luck as to say you should have tried harder. It is much easier to smile than frown, and to say please and thank you should be a given. Being kind makes one feel good and the receiving back is even more rewarding.

When we are experiencing different emotions, people’s company, attitudes and personalities can heighten or lesson the situation. If we lose a match or play bad, a kind word from someone can instantly make us feel better, a negative word destroying us even more. As a parent, teacher, coach, athlete, friend, whatever our role, we must always encourage and praise. Words have a powerful influence on our performances, our work-rate, our beliefs, our determination, our will to succeed. Mental health is affected by the positive or negative environment we are immersed in. In sport, the constant criticism affects how we play, how we perform, how we feel or how we look.

To see a child score a goal, cross a line, jump a hurdle, reach the top of a climbing frame, these are all achievements no matter how big or small. To see someone progress through a learning journey, to blossom with each term, to get stronger, more confident as the seasons pass is a reward for kindness that is immeasurable. It’s each individual’s own achievement that’s important and should always be encouraged. In our extremely competitive world, there is always a place for everyone because everyone has their own inner competitiveness; it is how this is brought out of people that can have a positive or negative influence. There is always a path to follow, it’s the guidance, direction and assistance to take the right path that we must demonstrate.

In times of grief, our emotions are so raw and it’s the kindness from people that gets one through. When someone is ill, for a friend to make a cup of tea, for them to listen and care, is a treasured gift. You’ll remember the kindness and you will reward.

Recently we organised one of our regular extended family runs. A simple but wonderful afternoon, where family unite, in nature, to jog down memory lane, where stories are shared, where everyone supports. Time is irrelevant, young and older included. Inclusiveness, kindness and closeness are paramount. The family circle widening, the youngsters sharing, learning, developing their own personalities, forming friendships with cousins, looking up to elders, all crossing the finish line together. The flasks and homemade treats awaiting, the hugs, the smiles, the tears, the stories, the sceals… it’s a wonderful experience for all, led by kindness. After our adventure – and totally unexpectedly – I am presented a drawing, painting and picture of me running in a recent world championship adventure. It’s handed to be by the maker, the leader, a very close family member who I have lived beside all my youth, who I have admired for years, who I watched as a young girl training on the Shrule road for marathons, back in the day when there were no Vaporflys, head torches or gels, just sandshoe running at its best. Someone I have the utmost admiration for. A creation from the heart, my personality drawn through the lens of knowing me so well, the picture telling the story of the way I run, the clothes I wear, the way I feel, my smile, the pink stripe on my shoes, my Garmin watch, my fluorescence hair tie, the pony tail flying, the nails half painted. This gift to me is so special for many reasons. The time, effort, thought, meaning, personal effort and touch will stay with me forever. My face and emotions on receiving the work of art, reward the creator and my family. I am overcome with emotion, I explain how much family and this kindness means to me.

The simple yet profound act of kindness has the power to bring people together, to form friendships, to solve problems, to cope with the loss of a loved one, to achieve tasks, to lift people up from a not-so-good place. As I experienced abroad, kindness is a quality that can be demonstrated no matter where we are from or what our beliefs are. No matter what life throws at us, anyone can be kind. Yes, we can say it is very easy but for so many they find it so hard. In a fast-paced world where self-interest often takes priority, it can be challenging to remain empathetic and considerate. Social media can amplify this disconnect, as it often presents curated lives that may evoke feelings of envy or inadequacy, breeding unkind thoughts. In such an environment, practicing kindness requires conscious effort and commitment. It calls for individuals to step outside their comfort zones, challenge prevailing norms and embrace vulnerability. However, as I have observed across many disciplines in life, the acts of giving, caring and sharing carry immense power, having the ability to heal wounds, unite strangers and inspire change.

By embracing kindness in our daily lives, we not only enrich our own experiences but also contribute to a more compassionate and interconnected world. The challenge lies in translating the understanding of kindness into action, in recognising moments where our kindness can make a difference. As we get up each day and work through our own needs and chores, let us always remember that even the smallest token can have a profound impact – on ourselves, on others and on the world at large.

Whatever you are up to this weekend, stop and pause for a moment, smile at someone, give someone a hug, encourage a player, ring a friend, call to a neighbour, make someone a cup of tea, whatever it is, try an act of kindness. We are a kind nation so let’s show the youth what we grew up with and remember that kindness is contagious.