'Daddy's choking mammy': Man who 'pinned' wife to bed avoids jail

Tom Tuite

A father, who "pinned" his wife to a bed, leaving her struggling to breathe until gardaí intervened, has avoided jail.

The Midlands man in his mid-40s pleaded guilty to assault by strangulation, driving without insurance, breach of the peace, theft, and cannot be named because he also admitted violating a safety order.

Mullingar Circuit Criminal Court heard that when gardaí carried out a welfare check, the couple's children ran out of their home screaming, "Daddy's choking mammy."

His victim told the court, "he is not a bad person when sober".

In October, Judge Kenneth Connolly expressed concerns about her safety after noting they were still together.

Sentencing was adjourned with conditions that he remain alcohol free and seek addiction treatment.

It resumed on Wednesday, with the court learning that the accused had been involved in three further alcohol related arrests.

The new incidents involved drink driving, a row with his brother and also a confrontation with a woman he pushed, resulting in gardaí issuing him with an adult caution.

Despite his protestations of sobriety, the accused also admitted that he had gone drinking again in March while watching an Ireland – France rugby match. Judge Connolly said he had exhausted the court's patience.

The accused's partner again told the court she believed his offending was all drink-fuelled.

He had also attended a residential treatment, but had checked out of rehab within 24 hours, claiming he had separation anxiety from missing his family.

However, he had engaged with another addiction counselling support group, the court heard.

Judge Connolly noted the aggravating factors, the seriousness of the offence and his conduct while awaiting sentence, but also took into account the victim's evidence, reports on the accused's mental health and addiction issues.

He imposed a sentence totalling 30 months, but suspended it, provided the man does not reoffend in five years and complies with a range of conditions and supervision.

The accused hugged his wife in court, prompting the judge to pause delivering his full ruling and tell him to conduct himself appropriately and that it was not a cinema.

He was disqualified from driving for six years and warned that he would serve the full sentence if he broke the terms imposed.

After this, the accused thanked him for the chance he had been given. "You do not want ever to see me again," the judge replied.

Earlier, the court heard that on a date in 2024, the man arrived at a local supermarket highly intoxicated. He verbally abused staff before taking an alcoholic beverage from the shelf and drinking it.

Despite being under a road ban, he drove home and had a row outside with another person, as the victim tried to get him to come into the house.

He then turned on her, saying, "I'll kill you", and grabbed her by her arms while his children were present.

Gardaí had been alerted following the scene in the supermarket and went to the man's house to conduct a welfare check. His partner had already obtained a safety order, which he breached.

The court heard that when they arrived, they found that the woman had been pinned on the bed by her partner, and he was pushing under her chin while she was "unable to breathe."

Ultimately, they had to use pepper-spray to subdue him.

His wife spoke in court about her husband's problems with depression and said that he had not been taking his medication at the time. The woman told Judge Connolly her partner "became a different person" when he abused alcohol.

She said the family situation had significantly improved since then.

The victim believed that he had been self-medicating with alcohol at the time of the attack, and said it would be devastating for her and their children if he were jailed.

She also explained that she did not think he still posed a risk.

"I would not be here like I am if I was in danger, if the kids were in danger," she insisted.

The woman said the man had also attempted suicide previously, and she mentioned that the death of a close family member affected him.

He left the home for some weeks after the attack before she let him return on the promise that he would quit drinking.

Speaking about the incident, she described it as terrifying. "It left a mark, but in the aftermath, something good has come from it, real change, and we are a stronger family unit," she added.

The court heard he had 41 mostly drink-related convictions, including assault, motoring offences and obstructing gardaí and a firearms offence.

The judge had also heard that he was the primary "breadwinner" for the family.

Conditions of the suspended sentence state that he must obtain treatment, remain under Probation Service supervision, abstain entirely from alcohol, attend training or employment and seek help from Men Overcoming Violent Emotions (Move Ireland) to prevent further domestic violence.