A parents' perspective: Redemption song for Ryan and family

“That’s my son you’re talking about.” It was the second-half of the 2021 All-Ireland final against Tyrone and Mayo’s Ryan O’Donoghue had just missed a penalty.

In the Hogan Stand, his parents Michael and Brenda and brother Shea were crestfallen. But right in front of them, one Mayo ‘supporter’ saw fit to unload vitriol aimed at the Belmullet man.

“The abuse from people around us. It was horrendous,” recalls Brenda. “Shea was sitting there one side of me and Michael was the other side of me. I just tapped the man in front of me and said: ‘that’s my son you’re talking about’ and in the end the stewards removed him but it was unreal and that was heavy on Ryan’s shoulders the last few years. And it was always there, it never went. It’s gone now, it’s gone and he’s 16 foot tall and two stone lighter,” she said tearfully.

It has been a long road for all of Mayo but particularly for players and their families who have had to carry the pain of losing finals.

But now a totally different feeling. We chat with Brenda and Michael O’Donoghue in the home dressing-room in CLG Béal An Mhuirthead after an incredible homecoming to Belmullet. Only 30 minutes previously, Ryan O’Donoghue and Séamus Howard brought Sam up on stage in Tallagh and for his parents, it is still hard to believe.

“It’s unreal. It’s hard to know how we feel at the minute,” said Michael. “Cars coming up to the house and people and hooting. The excitement is amazing… It’s crazy. I never thought I would see it in Belmullet, not alone having a son playing.

“Séamus (Howard) as well, friends, it’s fantastic, it really is fantastic. The crowd there tonight, coming in from Corrick, Bangor, Glencastle, our own local, it really is amazing. And the sun shone for us too. Life is good!” Michael’s father David is 87 and has been unwell recently. On the Friday before the final, Ryan went to visit his grandfather.

“It was just the most emotional thing Ryan has ever done and grandad just said: ‘Boy, bring it home’. And he was so determined and that was all he had thought about and he said: ‘I’m going to do it and I will do everything I can to bring it home to granddad.’ And he is bringing it home in the morning. He is going to see grandad with Sam tomorrow morning. I can’t wait,” recalls Brenda.

“It’s going to be special,” adds Michael. “Dad’s 87, not in great health. He was supposed to be in hospital on Monday. The doctor said leave him until Wednesday, until Sam comes to Belmullet. He’s actually going in tomorrow evening (Thursday) so please God, Ryan will come out with Sam sometime tomorrow morning.” 

He did call with Sam on the Thursday to his granddad. It was a powerful moment in a week full to the brim of them.

The first port of call for the Belmullet homecoming was the traditional crossing of the bridge at Bellacorrick. The famous Musical Bridge is one of three road entry points into the Barony of Erris and crossing it with silverware is a rite of passage for winning teams in Erris.

“I remember the first time Ryan went across the bridge with a cup, it was the Under 14 North Mayo ‘A’ championship from Moygownagh, what a night that was,” recalls Brenda. “The club means so much to Ryan and also to Shea. It is huge for them and what the club have done for us here today, I’m so proud of them and everything they’ve done. We’re just a big family here. For Ryan and Séamus to walk across Corrick Bridge and have their family and our family there with them, it was just incredible,” she added.

That their son could bend the final to his will in the manner he did is of no surprise to his parents who have witnessed that drive in him from a young age.

“He’s very determined. If Ryan puts his mind to something, through hell or high water he is going to do that,” said Michael. “From an early age, when he was Boy 1 boxer, he has alluded to it 100 times on interviews, out running in the mornings, running from school, running into training. Like all the lads on that team and every other team, it is not handed to you. You have to go and grab it. Hours here (Belmullet GAA) in the gym and on the road … you have to have heart. You can have all the ability in the world but if you haven’t heart with it, it’s no good to you. Ryan, thank God, and Séamus too, they have it in abundance. I’m really delighted for them, so delighted for the hard work they’ve put in, long hours away from family, friends… It’s just amazing, I have to say, it’s amazing.” 

There have been so many moments of pure elation since the final whistle but one stands out for Brenda O’Donoghue.

“When Ryan lifted Sam, he didn’t know I was behind him. I could see him on the pitch with his dad and Shea and Courtney and he had seen them and I could see him there saying ‘where’s Mum?’ And when he put the cup back down and he turned around and I was standing right in front of him. And it was unbelievable. And all he kept screaming was ‘thank you, thank you, thank you’. And to me that just meant the world. I thought he was going to choke me! It was just amazing. It was an amazing moment for me,” she said.

They are proud Belmullet club people and Brenda is quick to acknowledge those who travelled this road before her son.

“I think Ryan along with all the rest of the lads, Séamus, they’re all there together and every one of them have done this and the foundation was built long before they ever came into this squad. I looked at Chrissie Barrett on Sunday night. What a man. Billy Joe Padden. Unbelievable. And then to have it here today in Belmullet, it’s mad, it’s brilliant. It’s the best feeling in the world,” she said.

Michael was blown away by the reception in Belmullet that morning.

“In Belmullet this morning (Wednesday) and walking up the street and everybody is coming towards you, smile from ear to ear. It’s amazing. Everybody is so happy, the buzz that is going around, this is going to last for months and months and months. It’s unreal, it really is unreal. It hasn’t really set in yet. Texts, phonecalls, messages, there’s hundreds on the phone. We haven’t had time to get to them yet. We will. It’s just, I don’t know what to say, it’s very emotional.” 

Ryan O’Donoghue made his league debut for Mayo in 2020 and quickly became a vital member of the team. As they watched from the sidelines, what was different about this year?

“The style of football this year was different,” said Michael. “That style of football that was played on Sunday in Croke Park was the first time that was seen in Croke Park. Other teams when Kerry got the quick kick-out, they let them take it and move on up the field. (On Sunday) Kerry never got the chance, they didn’t know what to do. David Clifford, the finest footballer to grace the field, he was lost, he didn’t know what to do. None of them did. It’s the way football should be played, it’s the way it will be played from now on. Mayo were the first team to do it, it was amazing to watch.

“From 15 minutes on, it was reckless, it was crazy, it was vicious. Forwards tackled like they were backs. It was unbelievable. We haven’t had a chance to watch it yet. I’m so looking forward to sitting down and watching it with a cup of tea and watching it and being able to enjoy it. I’m looking forward to the season ahead, football being played like that. I think we’re going to be there or thereabouts for a number of years.” 

Watching the game back will be a rewarding experience but, beyond that, they are looking forward to a very different winter this year.

“It will be lovely for Ryan to be able to go to all the events, to go to all the family events, to go to all the things he has missed for years and it will be lovely to spend time with him and do things, for him to enjoy the moment and for all of us to do it together,” said Brenda. “We’re going to have a night, we’re going to have my family and Michael’s family and we’re going to party into the early hours of the morning but we’re going to let it go a few weeks and then get us all together, get Ryan there, Michael’s mother, everybody else, hopefully Michael’s father as well, have them all there and just savour every minute.” 

Good things come to those who wait.